Friday, January 15, 2010




- TAKEN TODAY
- US MESSING AROUND & BEING THE GOOFY ASSES THAT WE ARE .

THE MORE & MORE TIME PASSES AND OUR RELATIONSHIP GROWS I AM SO THANKFUL THAT HE IS THE LAST PERSON I SEE AT NITE AND THE FIRST PERSON I OPEN MY EYES TO IN THE MORNING .
AFTER MY LAST RELATIONSHIP I THOUGHT I WASNT GOING TO TAKE ANYONE SERIOUS FOR A VERY LONG TIME . THE BREAK-UP WAS SO UGLY THAT IT MADE ME A BITTER PERSON FOR A WHILE AND I HONESTLY THOUGHT PUTTING UP A ARMOR WALL AROUND MY FEELINGS TO SHUT PEOPLE OUT WOULD KEEP ME FROM GETTING HURT . IN ALL REALITY , ME AVOIDING LETTING ANY TYPE OF SENTIMENAL FEELINGS IN ONLY WORKED AGAINST ME ; THAT EMPTY SPACE IN MY LIFE JUST KEPT GETTING BIGGER AND BIGGER .
AFTER A WHILE I LEARNED TO EXCEPT THE FACT THAT I HAD MADE SOME WRONG CHOICES IN THE PAST & THAT SITTING THERE AND BEATING MYSELF UP OVER IT WASNT GOING TO HELP ME PROGRESS AT ALL . SO I TURNED MY NEGATIVE INTO A POSITIVE ;
NOT BY PRETENDING THE PAST NEVER OCCURED BUT BY LEARNING FROM MY MISTAKES & ALWAYS KEEPING THEM IN MIND FOR FUTURE REFRENCES . UNFORTUNATELY I WAS NEVER ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE WHO WATCHED SOMEONE ELSE MAKE A MISTAKE & LEARN FROM IT , I'M A KNUCKLE HEAD . I HAD TO FALL ON MY ASS JUST TO PICK MYSELF BACK UP.
IN THE END IT MADE ME WHO I AM NOW WHICH IS ;
A MUCH SMARTER , MATURE , LEVEL-HEADED PERSON WHO HAS FINALLY COME TO PEACE WITH HERSELF . FROM TIME TO TIME WHEN I LET MY THOUGHTS WANDER OFF I THINK
" WHAT IF I WOULDVE DID THINGS DIFFERENT , HOW WOULD SHIT BE ? "
BUT THAT ONLY STICKS FOR A QUICK SECOND BECAUSE I ALWAYS COME TO THE REALIZATION THAT SOME SHIT REALLY DOES HAPPEN FOR A REASON & AS FUCKED UP AS A SITUATION MAY SEEM AT THE TIME . . . .
IN THE LONG RUN YOU'LL UNDERSTAND WHY THINGS ENDED UP THE WAY THEY DID .

HERE I AM NOW ABOUT TO START THE BIGGEST & MOST IMPORTANT CHAPTER IN MY LIFE WHICH IS ;
MOTHERHOOD .
I NEVER THOUGHT I'D BE HAVING A CHILD BUTI GUESS FATE FINALLY CAUGHT UP TO ME & EVERYDAY THAT PASSES I GROW EVEN MORE ANXIOUS TO SEE THE GIFT THAT GOD HAS BLESSED ME WITH . HE ISNT EVEN HERE YET & HE IS ALREADY CORRECTING AREAS IN MY LIFE THAT NEEDED IMPROVEMENT & MAKING GROW INTO THE WOMAN I WAS ALWAYS MENT TO BECOME .
I AM LITERALLY ON A CLOUD AND ALL THE PETTY PEOPLE & SITUATIONS THAT WERE ONCE SO IMPORTANT TO BE SEEM TO NOT EVEN EXSIST ANYMORE . GUESS LIFE ISNT SO BAD AFTERALL (;

5 comments:

Miss Daja said...

beautiful
i wish you both all the best.
that baby is going to be the beginning of everything beautiful for the 2 of you

CompulsoryStyle said...

this post was indeed beautiful! your son is already changing your world & he's not even here yet. this will be a great journey.

Anonymous said...

I love your blog . We need you over at tumblr ! biggerthanblunts.tumblr.com <3 keep posting and I hope you are having a good pregnancy. In all your pictures you look absolutely gorgeous - Dios, Te bendiga

- Chel <3

Alexyz: said...

i absolutely loved this post. prolly bc i could relate so much to it. minus the motherhood part. thanks for this; it really made me feel better abt some things. wish u all the best as well mama & glad things are so good for you. its a wonderful thing when u get to the place u are at in your life right now.

* natural born rebel . said...

can i just say that ive been going through the post-bad breakup depression and that just made me look at my situation in a TOTALLY different light ? I'm actually REALLY glad i read this particular blog because it made me feel A LOT better. Thanks for the insight ;)