Saturday, October 10, 2009

SO FROM THE LAST POST ABOUT ME BEING PREGNANT I WAS VERY SOON INTO MY PREGNANCY & DIDNT KNOW TOO MUCH ABOUT WHAT WAS GOING ON WITH THE LITTLE PERSON INSIDE OF ME. WELL IVE BEEN TO THE DOCTORS A WHOLE LOT IN THE PAST TWO WEEKS FOR BLOOD WORK, PAPSMEARS & OF COURSE ULTRASOUNDS & ABOUT TWO WEEKS AGO FOR THE FIRST TIME I GOT TO SEE MY BABY IN ACTION.
TO BE 100% HONEST WHEN I FIRST FOUND OUT I WAS PREGNANT I WAS MISERABLE BECAUSE HAVING A CHILD WAS THE LAST THING I WANTED BECAUSE I WASNT READY TO GIVE UP LIVING MY LIFE JUST FOR ME. I DIDNT WANT TO STOP PARTYING OR TO STOP SMOKING WHICH WAS SUPER SELFISH AND CHILDISH OF ME & MAINLY BECAUSE ME AND MY BOYFRIEND HAD NOT BEEN TOGETHER FOR ALL THAT LONG AND I KNEW WITH ALL THE BITCHES WHO LOVE TO KEEP TABS ON MY LIFE THEY WOULD HAVE ALOT TO SAY;
BUT NOW THAT IVE GROWN AND GOTTEN OVER THE PETTY INSECURITIES AND WORRIES I COULD CARELESS WHAT THE NEXT BITCH THINKS OR HAS TO SAY ABOUT ME CAUSE THEY ARE ALL IN WAY WORST SITUATIONS THAN I AM IN.
I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO BE ONE OF THOSE MOTHERS WHO WOULD HAVE A TERRIBLE PREGNANCY AND REGRET PUTTING HERSELF IN THE SITUATION THAT IVE STUMBLED UPON BUT LIKE I SAID I GOT TO SEE MY CHILD ON THE ULTRASOUND SCREEN MOVING IT'S HANDS AND FEET EVERYWHERE & IT REALLY THAWED OUT THAT COLD ASS HEART IVE HAD FOR SOOOOO LONG. NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS WOULD I EVER PICTURE A LIFE INSIDE OF ME GROWING EVERYDAY.
EATING THE FOOD I EAT, LISTENING TO THE MUSIC I LISTEN TO & WHEN IM LAYING DOWN AT NITE FEELING IT SHIFT AROUND WHICH IS THE MOST UNEXPLAINABLE FEELING OF MY LIFE.

I WANTED A GIRL SOOO BAD JUST SO SHE CAN BE AS GIRLY AS ME WITH CURLY HAIR & POOFY DRESSES. EVERYONE WHO SAW MY TUMMY AND THEN SAW ME WAS LIKE
"OMG YOURE GLOWING ITS DEF A GIRL"
AND AS MUCH AS I WANTED TO BELIEVE THAT I KNEW DEEP DOWN INSIDE OF ME IT WAS A BABYBOY. SO THIS WEEK WHEN I GOT MY ULTRASOUND AND THE DOCTOR TOLD ME IT WAS A BOY FOR ABOUT 5 SECONDS I WAS SAD AND THEN WHEN SHE TRIED TO TAKE A PICTURE OF HIM AND HE KEPT TURNING AROUND IT BROUGHT THAT FROWN "UPSIDE DOWN" LMAO. LITERALLY!
IM LIKE WOW, I HAVE THREE BROTHERS & THEY WOULD LOVE TO HAVE ANOTHER LITTLE GUY AROUND THEM PLUS I KNOW MY MAN REALLY WANTED A SON AND IM GLAD I MADE HIM HAPPY. HE CALLED LIKE EVERYONE IN HIS DAMN PHONEBOOK. NOW IM SUPER ANXIOUS TO SEE HIM,
I WANNA HOLD HIM
& KISS HIS FACE AND FEET.
I WANNA GIVE HIM BATHS & LOTION HIS LITTLE BODY UP.
I WANNA SLEEP WITH HIM AT NITE EVEN THO IM SURE HE'LL KEEP ME UP WHEN HE'S HUNGRY AND CRANKY BUT I DONT CARE I LOVE HIM SOOOO MUCH ALREADY AND I WANT NOTHING MORE THAN BE NEXT TO HIM EVERY MOMENT.

AWE MAN, NEVER WOULD I THOUGHT I WOULD BE A MOMMY BECAUSE OF ALL THE SHIT IVE BEEN THRU IN MY PAST BUT I GUESS IT'S ALL PAID OFF (=
CANT WAIT TO SEE YOU MY LOVE <333333333

12 comments:

Im always Just Me said...

AWW. THATS SO SWEET. IM SURE ULL MAKE A WONDERFUL MOMMY.

PIA said...

omg, that is such annn amazing story. and of course when you first get preganant as a young adult your gonna feel like "dang, gotta give up all this FUN ishh .. and i dont wanna" but your not gonna have to give everythaaaaang hunny. you seem like your gonna be an awesome mommy. congradulations!

jadi-BellaVEI said...

MY LOVE !!!!! LEE. im bck baby, left tweeeeetin alone, imma stick to this bloggin shxt, anyways ma ma congrats on the baby boy !!! im sure you'll be updating on here on everything such as names, nursery, and so on : ) stay in touch !

jadi

sheiswinterwest said...

Awwww... I'm so happy for you.. This was abs. beautiful i wish you & your precious unborn baby boy nothing but happiness. you will be an amazing mother.

Madison Rose said...

Seriously, girl. You are about to experience the most profound love that you've ever known in your life. Congratulations. Of course, you'll miss coming and going as you please and doing whatever the hell you want to do. Hope you have a babysitter in mind right now. LOL! I know your baby will be beautiful.

LaLa said...

Our stories are very similar and I can tell you it's going to be a struggle but a beautiful at that!! I didn't know true love until Oct 30, 2006, the day I met my son. During my pregnancy I couldn't picture my life with a child or see myself as a mother, already. But almost 3 years later I couldn't picture my life any other way but with him in it. He truly is my air. I wish you all the luck and blessings with you little one and just remember you have LOVE for life, no one will EVER love you more then you OWN child, unconditional love!

ox,
L

thehoustongirl said...

congrats again Lovelee !! :D

Neesh B Fly said...

This is a good story..Congrats girl

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lujosaa said...

Awww, this post was super sweet! I am so happy for you, really : ) Enjoy it, I hear it goes by fast. Even though there will be times that you feel like time is crawling like a snail, once you see him, you'll forget all about the before.

Cynthia.Lee♥ said...

isnt it crazy how you can love someone so much with your life with every breath in you, and you havent even met yet. thats how i felt/feel about my nephew. i would dream of him, see his face in my dreams, i'd write letters to my unborn nephew. he is my saving grace,dammit imma cry now!!! LMAO!!!! But its amazing how a child can change your whole world around. Everytime i look at that baby boy i know as much as life gets hard for me, Im gonna make it and Im gonna be okay and I gotta keep fighting my personal battles because although he needs his mom he needs his aunt/godmother as well. this is unlike any other love ive came across. girl you are so blessed. I will pray for you and your baby boy =)

.* mami bella said...

congrats on the boy! girls are def. fun with the dresses and bows & curls but guys are so cute with there miniature manly clothes & hats and lil baby jordans lol. & the good thing is boys usually look like mommy & you're pretty so yep he will be FOOIINE! hehe good luck mama ♥.

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